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Contrary to popular belief, it is more than possible to come out of a long-term relationship and make rebound relationships work. That said, precautions do need to be taken. Let’s take a look at the rebound rules.
It is not uncommon for newly-found singles to jump into a new relationship. However, rebounding from a break up is often performed in a reckless manner and the chances are the new relationship isn’t going to stand the test of time. Let me illustrate my point: My friend Sarah recently broke up with her boyfriend of three years. She was single for all of five minutes before declaring her new guy to be “The One”. Naturally, I questioned her judgment, but she was quick to inform me that she knew what she was doing. Fast forward two weeks and her love affair with “The One” had failed to live up to her expectations. That or he just got scared off by her early declaration of love. The moral of this story is, if you hook up soon after splitting up, don’t kid yourself that it will last forever.
Rebound Dating Rule #2: Don’t consider rebound dating akin to that seen on TV
One of the rebound rules is to let your hair down and have some fun. However, be sure to set some restrictions. First, don’t fall for someone who would otherwise be “out of bounds”. This includes your work colleagues, your best friend, or your best friend’s boyfriend. I don’t care how cute they happen to be‚ these are the rules! Learn from the experience of my friend Julie. Julie had not given her tears time to dry before falling into bed with one of her best friends. While it
may have made her felt good to begin with, it certainly didn’t help their friendship.
Your ex may have torn your heart and messed with your head but don’t reduce yourself to that same standard when rebounding from a break up or being on the rebound after divorce. Find the courage to explain your current situation to potential new crushes. This is exactly what my friend Tim decided to do when he hooked up with a hot new lover following a particularly bad breakup. Turns out, his new crush was okay with keeping things casual but others may not be so lucky.
The key to making rebound relationships work is to have fun with your new flame and keep your friends and family for therapy. Your new crush doesn’t want to hear all about your ex and if you are in a new relationship, it is best to start afresh. While talking over everything that went wrong can be a real healer, it is best to keep your new crush interested and not send him running for the hills.
Among the most important rebound rules is to never compare your new lover to your ex. You will only run into trouble! A new lover may seem flawless but this is only just the surface. The more you get to know of each other, the more imperfections you will find. So don’t compare them from the outset and start by giving them a chance. Whether you are rebounding from a break up or on the rebound after divorce, you can make rebound dating work for you.